Have you ever been at a point in your life when you just know that you should be incredibly happy yet you long for something new? I feel like I am that position right now.
An issue that I've struggled with the past couple years has been my relationship. It is simply crazy because I've been with the same guy since I was a sophomore in high school (I just started my junior year of college). He treats me absolutely wonderful and I should be immensely grateful for him and his family but I feel kind of trapped.
See, it has been almost five years. I feel... bored. Five years ago, I was fifteen. I had to listen to My Chemical Romance every single day. I wore red eyeshadow and failed at teasing my hair. Now, I am recently turned twenty. MCR is still a big part of my life but by no means do I rely on them half as much as I used to. I wear basically no makeup now- just eyeliner and you are lucky if I take a flat iron to my hair.
You see, back in February of 2008, the thing I wanted the most was for me to win this guy over and I did it! He left another girl for me. However now, I want to experience other things. Don't get me wrong, I love him. It's just the desire that I have to go out and meet new people keeps growing stronger and stronger.
I don't want to throw away this wonderful thing that I have but I don't want to turn 25 wishing that I had gone out there and tried new things. I don't want any 'what ifs'.
What if I would've met someone who is more like me now? What if I met a hopeless romantic guy which is what I've always wanted? What if I meet a guy who will actually tell me his feeling about me?
...what if I'm just psyching myself into this 'movie dream' and in route to living an exciting life, I lose the one thing that was right for me?
xo
V
